Self-care tips: Advice from a psychologist specifically for parents of children with PFD
Published by Rose Phillips, MA, LMFT on May 15, 2024
Therapy sessions, physician visits and feedings that suck up every minute of your day leave parents of children with pediatric feeding disorder (PFD) little time for self-care.
While a walk, massage or yoga class can do wonders for stressed parents, they can also feel like a burden when you don’t have time or energy.
The truth is that self-care doesn’t have to take up time you don’t have. Practicing how you speak to yourself in your head is also self-care. That’s because negative chatter running through your mind can be exhausting.
Coaching yourself, with practice, to judge yourself favorably and be more supportive of yourself can give you more energy to face a challenge. You may even feel better if you move toward self-compassion.
Four tips for implementing self-care and self-compassion
Implementing self-care and self-compassion into your daily routine is possible even for the busiest parents. Following are some suggestions for parents of children with PFD, based on my decades of working with clients.
Identify critical self-talk
Notice when negative thoughts or self-criticism circulate in your mind. With practice, transforming these thoughts into more positive, compassionate ones can significantly improve your mental well-being. “Are you criticizing yourself? Are you telling yourself ways you could have done it better or ways you’re failing?”
Self-critical thoughts are exhausting.
Tip: Try recognizing these moments so you can begin to gently guide your thoughts toward kindness and understanding instead.
Practice self-kindness
Treating yourself with kindness rather than judgment is a crucial step in practicing self-compassion. Self-kindness instead of self-judgment is not just a choice but a practice.
Acknowledge your efforts and remind yourself that doing your best is enough, especially on difficult days.
Tip: Try telling yourself: I’m doing the best I can. This is really tough right now. It’s not like you woke up in the morning and said, “I’m just gonna phone it in today.”
Connect with the shared human experience
Understanding you’re not alone in your challenges can provide comfort and reduce feelings of isolation. Under stress and pain, it’s normal to think you are the only one facing this challenge.
As difficult as your challenges may be, many others have experienced this before and even now. Remembering that others are navigating similar paths can foster a sense of belonging and community, which is crucial for mental resilience.
Tip: When you’re feeling alone, remember there is no challenge that others haven’t already overcome in the human experience.
Incorporate mindfulness into your routine
Mindfulness helps you stay present and engaged in the current moment without feeling overwhelmed by the future. By focusing on the present, you can manage stress more effectively and approach situations with a calmer, more balanced perspective.
Tip: Try focusing on the moment’s challenge without also predicting a future that will be even worse.
Everyday micro-nurturing practices for parents of children with PFD
None of these self-care tips will happen overnight. Shifting thoughts takes practice and, in many cases, coaching or therapy. But there are small, practical tips anyone can manage.
Micro-nurturing practices are small, simple moments that can help you shift your mood, improving your emotional and mental health. Here are some examples:
- Pay attention to breathing in and out: This simple act can help center your thoughts and calm your nervous system.
- Get outside: Just a few minutes outside, especially under the sun, can boost your vitamin D levels and improve your mood. Even short periods spent outdoors can have a rejuvenating effect.
- Listen to a favorite song or watch a funny short video: Both can get yourself out of your head and shift your mood.
- Text a friend:
Venting to a friend or simply sharing a difficult moment can ease some of the burden.
- Journal:: Journaling has been shown to offer numerous mental health benefits, including reducing stress and improving mood.
- Practice gratitude: Start your day by finding something small that makes you thankful.
- Mindfulness apps: Apps focusing on mindfulness and meditation can help you practice being present and reduce anxiety.
These activities can quickly yet effectively replenish your emotional reserves and reduce stress without much time or effort.
Self-care doesn’t need to be a luxury for when you have more time –– especially for parents navigating the complexities of raising a child with PFD. Adopting simple self-care practices that shift your thinking over time can help you fill your cup to have more energy to support your child.